The first journal entry for ENG 21001 was assigned to set individual intentions for the class. I titled mine perceived intentions. On February 8, 2022, I wrote:
“I am indecisive in almost all aspects of my life. Getting dressed in the morning can become a 2-hour feat to result in me just wearing sweats and a t-shirt. Aware of how my indecisiveness can limit my experiences, I have set forth a journey of self-discovery. I want to be able to understand myself so confidently that I know exactly what I want and exactly what I need.
Writing has been a useful outlet for me to feel no obligation towards decision making as I can write without consequence. However, once I receive writing assignments, I find myself staring at my screen or paper thinking about all the possibilities I could write- what the professor would want to hear, what my peers might write, or what I think is in my realm of expertise. On my journey of understanding myself better, my intention lies in developing confidence in my writing and specifically framing my purpose in an undeniable way. I want to be more decisive, and I want my writing to show that.”
While I still feel the daunt of staring at a blank page, I’ve found confidence in my writing. (But please don’t ask me about the progress on my self-discovery journey- I’m still embarking). After all the assignments from this past semester, I sense greater ease in expressing my thoughts. Perhaps not logically, but I can at least translate my thoughts to words with less pressure on the first draft being the final.
My attitude toward my linguistic standard is far more positive, as I’ve found a ground to empower my differences. Before this class, I didn’t know I could sound humorous in my writing. In a peer review for my op-ed, my lovely classmate Rene Cuadrado wrote, “I like how you used humor onto the writing. Especially the title. That made me laugh” (2/25). From this review, I realized I wanted to use this device to engage my audience and make a serious topic a bit more digestible. News and media can be emotionally heavy, but it’s important to try to gauge different perspectives and find optimism (I recognize and am grateful for this privilege). While I acknowledged my linguistic differences as a resource, reviewing other peers’ work allowed me to realize that I should try to simplify my writing to aid clarity and readability. An example, also from my op-ed, exists in my draft where I originally wrote, “My will for masking wearing lies behind the mystery of anonymity. It lies behind my compassion and obligation to society.” I wanted to be clever with using verbs you’d use with wearing masks, but peers and even Professor Skelly were confused. So, I expanded on what I meant to say: “My normalcy has found comfort in the allure of the mysterious anonymity behind a mask. The beads of sweat under my nose can lie behind my mask but my compassion and obligation to society will not be masked. My will to mask is furthermore reinforced by the proven advantages in avoiding transmission- suggested by the CDC and many experts”. Consider my strategies for drafting, revising, editing, and self-assessing enhanced!
I wasn’t expecting to be able to play around with mediums in a writing-focused class. So, I was really pleased to be assigned the visual essay. I chose to base my visual essay on my op-ed. In negotiating my writing goals with audience expectations, I had to strategically choose my genre, medium, and rhetorical situation. Found in the visual essay tab of my portfolio site, I explained how a short video would engage my targeted audience. The audience I wanted to reach was based on the population I saw in public who didn’t wear masks- teenagers, young adults, and those under 30. With a generation infiltrated with overstimulation and quick gratification, I thought it best to negotiate my exigence through a quick panning video. Consider my perception of genre analysis and multimodal composing engaged!
The third assignment, Critical Analysis Conference Paper, was daunting. I haven’t had experience writing proposals or anything to be presented. My research for this assignment was extensive, using all sorts of resources and databases, but I didn’t realize I used too much evidence and too little opinion. I was wary of expressing my viewpoint because most papers I’ve written lately have been lab reports- absolutely no opinions allowed. As stated on my portfolio site in the Critical Analysis Conference Paper tab, I had to change my course of research and adapt my thesis to better frame an argument. Furthermore, I had to discard certain sources and quotes that became distracting to my thesis. Once I had the proper evidence to support my opinions, my stance strengthened.
Despite completing all these assignments that evolved my perceptions of the course objectives, my answer to What is writing? is still ambiguous and evolving. I think writing is feeling. It’s translating these complex sensations into physical impressions. Writing is a channel of understanding. It allows people to see through the lens of another. I expect my perception to only expand and develop as I myself do as a writer.
That was the first time I was comfortable with calling myself a writer. Here’s to newfound confidence!
